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"Past the Point of No Return"

Title: Two Hearts - Past the Point of No Return
Author: Barrelracer
Genre: Slash
Pairing: Torksmith
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Dirty words, Sexuality
Disclaimer: I do not own The Monkees and do not claim in any way that this ever happened.
Summary: Mike and Peter have sex for the first time and Mike shows a surprisingly tender side when it comes to Peter.


Mike’s eyes had the “deer in the headlights” look as Peter watched him haul himself up into a sitting position and swing his legs over the side of the bed. As the dark haired man raked slightly trembling fingers through his wavy hair, Peter suddenly realized that his impromptu “out of the blue” question had shocked the Texan right down to his toes…..Mike, the strong silent tough guy was actually shaking. The bassist sat up and moved to sit next to the silent man, carefully keeping a few inches between them, somehow knowing that even the smallest amount of contact would send Mike bolting from the room. As the blond quietly watched Mike out of the corner of his eye he could feel the tension in the room building.

Mike was very aware of Peter’s naked body sitting just inches from his although he tried not to show it. Instead he fixed his gaze on the wall on the opposite side of the room. Until now, Mike hadn’t even considered that Peter might want to take their budding relationship one step further and to have him suddenly bring up the subject of sex had sent Mike’s brain into an overloaded tailspin. Several emotions flitted across Mikes face as he fought to regain control over his racing mind then finally, after a few minutes he looked over at Peter, to find the blond unusually interested in the small oval shaped braded carpet under his feet.

“Ya caught me a little off guard there, shotgun.” he said.

“I know, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to.” Peter said quietly, threading his fingers together and digging his bare toes into the carpet.

“I know that, I just…” Mike shook his head and looked at the wall again “I just didn’t expect it, I guess.”

“Why not, I mean we’ve done everything but that.” Peter said, finally looking at Mike.

“Yeah but …this….this is real big Pete”

“I know, but…Michael it’s not like we’re just getting to know each other, we’ve been living in the same house for almost two years”

Mike sighed, the guy had a point, after living together for that length of time they knew each other as well as their own families did. Their hopes, their dreams, their disappointments and their fears….and Mike realized that it was his fear that was holding him back now, his fear of crossing that forbidden line and his fear of hurting Peter…And his fear of hurting Peter was by far outweighing the other.

“Pete, there’s something ya don’t know about me, I…I don’t wanna hurt ya.” Mike said in a surprisingly small voice as he looked at Peter.

Peter had a feeling there was so much more behind those words than what Mike was actually saying and for the first time since bringing up the subject Peter took the chance of sending Mike running from the room in a panic and reached over and gently clasped the Texan’s sweaty, still trembling hand in his.

“I’ll be ok Michael, why are you so afraid of hurting me?” Peter kept his eyes locked with Mike's, giving his hand a small squeeze trying to reassure him. He was a little surprised when Mike squeezed back and held on tightly.

“Because I…” Mike briefly closed his eyes as if in pain and shook his head “Are ya sure ya want to do this?” he opened his eyes, looking at their clasped hands then lifted his dark troubled gaze to Peter’s face to find the blond looking steadily back at him.

“Yes.” Peter said, looking at Mike with a surety that surprised the Texan. “More than anything.”

As Mike sat there looking into Peter’s clear toffee colored eyes, he knew instinctively that Peter wouldn’t take something like this lightly. This was a huge step for both of them, and for Peter…especially Peter, to bring up the subject, Mike knew that the blond’s feelings for him went much deeper than he’d ever imagined.

The realization that this gentle man sitting next to him loved him enough ask him to do something that went way beyond anything either one of them had ever experienced sent an overwhelming mixture of love, pride and protection coursing through Mike’s body. But the lingering doubt in the back of Mike’s mind still made him weary. He could easily hurt Peter and he just didn’t know if he was willing to take that chance.

Mike sighed and shook his head “I can’t Peter, I just can’t.” He stood up and walked a short distance from the bed then stopped.

“Why?” The sudden desertion of Mike’s hand made the confusion and disappointment in Peter’s voice seem more prominent.

Mike suddenly turned to face Peter and blurted out what had been at the forefront of his mind since the bassist had dropped the bomb in his lap.

“What if I hurt ya Peter…I mean really hurt ya…inside…I couldn’t live with myself if I did that.”

Peter’s eyes widened, how could Mike possibly think he was going to hurt him like that, after having spent almost every second of the last two days rolling around naked in the Texan’s arms, Mike had shown him how gentle and loving he was. Peter shook his head, feeling sure Mike was just having a massive case of nerves.

“Michael, you’re not going to hurt me, I……” Peter didn’t get a chance to finish before Mike interrupted him.

“Ya can’t be sure of that Pete, I can’t even be sure of that.” Mike said, with a slightly agitated tone in his voice and once again ran his fingers through his hair in a gesture that said with out words “Don’t push it”.

“Michael, I trust you, you just have to trust yourself.” Peter knew he was getting himself in deeper but also knew that if he let it go now it may be weeks before Mike opened up and let him in on his innermost feelings again.

Before Peter knew what was happening Mike had closed the short distance between them and had grasped him roughly by the arms, jerking him up off the bed.

“Damn it, Peter doncha get it, I like rough hard sex…I could hurt ya.” Mike’s strong grip on Peter’s arms relaxed as he looked into the bassists startled eyes “I don’t wanna take that chance.”

Peter had been shocked when Mike had pulled him up off the bed but suddenly a very rare burst of anger rushed in and he grasped Mike’s face firmly in his hands. Peter had waited a life time for a chance at a love like this and he wasn’t about to let it slip threw his fingers because Mike was afraid of hurting him.

“Don’t you think that’s my decision to make, I’m a grown man and I can make my own decisions, Michael!” Peter exclaimed, the anger draining as quickly as it had appeared. “I’m willing to take that chance and I want that chance, please don’t take it away from me”

Mike had been slightly taken aback at Peter’s short outburst but looking into Peter’s eyes he realized that he was right, it was his decision to make. Mike had gotten so used to making certain decisions for the guys as a group that he sometimes forgot that each one was a person in their own right, capable of choosing what was best for them. If Peter was willing to take a chance, then so would he…he just hoped Peter didn’t live to regret it.

“Ya really love me that much?” Mike asked quietly, lifting one hand to brush the backs of his fingers along Peter’s cheek.

His heart leapt up into his throat when Peter gave him a dimpled smile and grasped Mike’s hand, gently grazing his thumb across the knuckles.

“Yes Michael, I really love you that much.”

Mike wrapped his arms around Peter, holding the blond tightly against him. Peter sighed and laid his head on Mike’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around the Texan's waist. He had laid his heart at Mike’s feet in just a few words and now the ball was in his court.

Mike gently kissed Peter’s freckled shoulder and leant his head back so that he could look into Peter’s eyes as the bassist raised his eyes to meet Mike’s. Mike took a deep breath; he had already told Peter more about himself than he’d ever told anyone else. It had always been hard for him to express his feelings but with Peter, things just seemed easier, more natural and he knew Peter deserved to hear everything.

“I love ya Peter, more than anyone I’ve ever known in my life, I think I have for a long time. When I looked up from that booth in Shirley’s Dinner and saw you standing there,” Mike slowly shook his head as a crooked smile formed on his lips, ”I thought my heart was gonna beat right outta my chest. I never thought you’d love me back, but ya do… ya really do.”

Mike paused as Peter’s happy smile literally lit up the entire room.

“Ya really wanna do this, don’t ya?”

Peter’s face glowed with happiness. “Yes Michael, I really want to do this.”

Mike leant his forehead against Peter’s. “Ok, I’ll make love with ya. But I think we need a safe word, just in case.”

Peter’s soft hazel eyes took on a puzzled expression. “What kind of a safe word?”

Mike gave Peter a quick gentle squeeze. "Just something you can say in case I get too rough, to let me know I need to back off.”

Peter nodded his head as a thoughtful expression crossed his fac.e “Ok, I’ll think of something, but I’m still not afraid you’ll hurt me.”

“Ya have that much confidence in me, huh?” Mike said, as he ran his hands along Peter’s sides and back to his hips.

Peter kissed him softly. “Yes, I do”

Mike nodded his head. “If we’re gonna do this, we’re gonna do it right.” Mike moved one of his hands to Peter’s face, gently caressing his cheek with his thumb. "I’m gonna fix a special dinner for us tonight with candles, wine and everything.”

Peter laughed. “Planning on getting me drunk, huh?”

One of Mike’s eyebrows rose up a notch. “Now there’s an idea.”

****

Mike chuckled softly to himself as he placed Peter’s filled plate on the table. The bassist had chosen “sandpaper” as a safe word because of the rough gritty texture and if Mike got too rough that’s what it would probably feel like. Mike leaned over to light the single candle that sat in the center of the table, hearing a footstep he looked up to see Peter coming into the kitchen. Mike’s heart thudded to a stop than began beating at a rapid pace. He’d never seen Peter looking so handsome, the blond was wearing skin tight black pants and the blue shirt he’d worn on their blind date. A single string of love beads swayed gently around his neck. He’d taken a shower earlier in the day and his dark blond hair glistened in the candlelight.

Mike smiled reassuringly at Peter as the blond pulled out a chair and sat down, silently taking note of the way Peter’s hands trembled. Mike turned to fill the glasses with wine, praying that Peter wouldn’t see the way his own hands were shaking. Mike knew it wasn’t just the thought of making love to Peter that was making his nerves jump around like grasshoppers on a hot tin plate but the hope that he would be able to make this a pleasurable experience for the blond. Mike took a deep breath before turning back towards the table, he really needed to get a grip and dammed fast.

Peter tightly clamped his legs together in an attempt to keep his knees from nervously knocking against each other. Mike’s revealing confession had made him a little uneasy and he’d tried hard throughout the day to keep Mike from catching on, but as the day wore on and the evening got closer the nervousness of what would take place that evening had begun to run rampant.

As Mike sat down across the table from Peter he watched the blond take a drink out of the glass of wine he’d placed next to Peter’s plate. His eyebrow went up and an amused smile crossed his face when he saw that Peter had downed almost half of the glass.

“Better go easy on that shotgun; I’d like ya at least half ways sober.”

Peter’s face had a light pink tinge as he picked up his fork. “Sorry.”

Mike reached across the table and lightly squeezed Peter’s hand. “Nervous?”

“Um…yeah, a little.”

“Me too.”

Somehow, knowing that Mike was just as nervous as he was made Peter feel a little better and he managed to eat his meal without knocking something off the table. Mike sat back as Peter finished and seeing the slightly glassy look in the blond's eyes suppressed a smile, he had covertly watched Peter throughout the day and knew how nervous he’d become. Mike knew he was going to have to take things one slow step at a time and he had a feeling a seduction was in order for the rest of the night. Getting up and walking around the table, Mike reached Peter’s side and pulled him up. Placing a long lingering kiss on the others mouth, Mike gently clasped Peter’s hand in his and led him toward the winding staircase.

****

Peter‘s hands were slightly sweaty as Mike closed the door behind them and he nervously wiped them on his pants, wishing they’d brought the bottle of wine up to the bedroom. The glass he’d drank downstairs had barely touched his quaking nerves and he could easily have downed the rest of the bottle and consequences be dammed. He felt Mike’s strong hands on his shoulders just then, thumbs rubbing in slow relaxing circles.

Mike could feel the tension in Peter’s body as he slowly ran his hands down the long line of Peter’s back and back up, his hands easily gliding over the cotton material. Mike placed his hands on Peter’s shoulders and turned him around. Looking deep into the blond's eyes, Mike dragged his thumb gently across Peter’s cheek.

“I’ll be as gentle as I can.” Mike said, feeling the need to reassure Peter.

“I know, Michael.”

Peter unconsciously sighed when Mike’s lips gently roamed over the cheek that the Texan’s fingers had just touched. Mike wrapped one arm around Peter’s waist and the hand on the other wove its way into the shiny hair on the back of Peter’s head as his lips found Peter’s mouth.

Peter closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on the sensual feeling of Mike’s soft tongue sliding against his as he opened his mouth. Wrapping his trembling arms tightly around the Texan’s waist, he moaned softly as Mike’s tongue expertly explored his mouth. Peter let out the breath he hadn’t known he was holding when Mike’s lips trailed across his cheek to his neck, gently nipping then soothing with quick flicks of his tongue.

As Mike felt the blond's tense muscles began to relax, he continued to gently kiss the soft skin on Peter’s neck, breathing in the mixture of spice and warmth that was Peter. The Texan’s fingers moved to the buttons on his shirt, slowly undoing each one then as he finished unbuttoning the last button he brushed the material off Peter’s shoulders, letting it fall to the floor.

Moving his lips to Peter’s tanned shoulders Mike glided his hands down the smooth warm skin of Peter’s sides to the top of his pants. Not knowing if it was nervousness or the beginning stages of arousal that was making Peter’s skin slightly quiver, Mike ran his hand down the front of Peter’s black pants and felt the bulge underneath. Mike grinned to himself as he gently stroked Peter through his pants, listening to the blond's soft moan. Quickly unbuckling the side placed belt buckle, Mike moved his fingers to the button and slipped it threw the hole. Grasping the top edges of the pants, Mike pulled them apart sliding the zipper down as he did.

Peter gasped as Mike reached inside, gently stroking the massive head with his thumb. The blond softly moaned at the sensual feeling of Mike’s thumb gently massaging the head of his cock and hooked his thumbs in the top of his pants and pushed them down past his hips giving Mike free rein to do as he wished. Apparently Mike wished to do quite a lot Peter would soon find out as the Texan grasped him and began to stroke him to full hardness. Mike chuckled in Peter’s ear when he heard the bassist emit a not so quiet groan.

“Feel good?” Mike asked quietly, while his free hand rested gently on the small of Peter’s back.

“Mmmm, yeah.”

Mike’s lips found Peter’s ear, gently sucking the lobe while the cock in his hand grew and thickened until it was standing almost straight up against Peter’s stomach. He could feel his own erection straining at the zipper of his pants as Peter’s ridged hardness slid smoothly through his hand. Mike explored the outer shell of Peter’s ear with his tongue while continuing to stroke the massive cock, paying special attention to the mushroom shaped head, knowing that was Peter’s weakness… He waited for the throaty groan that would tell him the blond was weakening.

Peter’s knees were beginning to tremble, this time not from nervousness but from the glorious feeling of Mike’s fingers massaging his cock head. His hands gripped Mike’s arms hard as a loud groan was forced from his chest.

Mike grinned, that’s what he’d been waiting for “What do ya want me to do to ya, babe?” he asked in a low voice, knowing full well what the answer would be.

“Suck me, oh god, Michael please suck me.”

“How bout we move this to the bed first?” Mike said his voice beginning to take on a rough hard edge. Both men finished removing their clothes and Peter sat on the edge of Mike’s bed. As the dark haired man sat down beside him, Peter looked down, suddenly feeling shy and unable to look into Mike’s eyes. He noticed the string of beads around his neck and reached up to pull them over his head. Mike quickly placed his hand over Peter’s.

“Don’t.” He whispered.

Wrapping one arm around the blond's shoulders, Mike fastened his mouth on Peter’s, slowly dragging his tongue across Peter’s bottom lip. Peter sighed and opened his mouth reveling in the feeling of Mike’s tongue stroking his as his long fingers wove themselves through Mike’s dark wavy hair.

Peter felt himself being slowly pushed down onto the bed as Mike’s body shifted to lay over his. Mike slowly kissed his way down Peter’s body until he was kneeling on his knees between Peter’s legs. Mike massaged the tops and outsides of Peter’s thighs while raining gentle kisses on the insides. Mike moved one of his hands to Peter’s testicles and heard a gasp as he began to roll them between his fingers.

Mike gently ran the finger tips of his other hand along the underside of Peter’s extended member, glancing up at the blonds’ slightly flushed face he grinned, so Peter wanted his cock sucked did he? Well he’d get it sucked…and then some Mike quickly decided, he’d learned a thing or two during the last couple of nights with the blond.

Peter groaned again feeling Mike’s tongue draw a long line up the underside of his cock while his fingers continued to massage his balls. Mike closed his mouth over the massive head and began to suck gently at first then as Peter’s moans got louder the sucking and massaging became rougher.

Peter’s hands fisted in the bedspread as his hips began to thrust upwards into that hot, hard sucking mouth and just when he thought he couldn’t stand it any longer Mike stopped and stood, bending his knees to remove the stiffness. Moving to his bedside table Mike motioned for Peter to move further up on the bed then opened the top drawer and took out the jar of Vaseline he had bought at the grocery store earlier in the day. Mike sat back down on the bed between Peter’s now outstretched legs and placed his hands under the blond’s knees pulling upwards until Peter’s feet were flat on the bed. Mike kept a close eye on Peter’s face as he dipped his finger in and liberally coated it.

Feeling Mike’s finger gently rubbing around his opening, Peter gave him a wobbly smile then his eyes widened and he sharply inhaled at the strange intrusion as Mike gently pushed his finger past the tight barrier. Almost immediately though his body relaxed as the strange feeling dissipated and an all together new pleasurable feeling took over. Peter moaned as Mike’s finger continued its slow gentle thrusting. Feeling Peter relax even more, Mike carefully inserted another finger, watching Peter’s face closely for any signs of discomfort.

Mike was amazed at the tightness and heat as he continued his slow, gentle invasion of Peter’s body. He had done this to countless chicks before but he’d never encountered the tight ring of muscle that was surrounding his fingers now. Seeing that Peter’s expressive eyes had drifted shut he began scissoring his fingers, opening Peter’s entrance a little at a time. Mike had been with a virgin only once in his life and that was when he was a teenager and the virgin had been a girl…this was going to be a hell of a lot different and Mike was suddenly glad that Peter was still feeling the effects of the wine he’d had at dinner. Knowing that it was now or never, Mike began to prepare himself as he applied some of the slippery jell to his own throbbing erection.

Peter’s eyes flew open and his nervousness began to trickle back, slowly at first then with a rush as Mike withdrew his fingers and placed the head of his cock against his puckered opening. Keeping his eyes locked with Mike’s he gently bit his bottom lip as Mike began to slowly flex his hips.

“Relax, babe.” Mike said, running his hands gently up and down Peter’s thighs.

......oh boy this is it...... Peter thought as he felt the head of Mike’s cock pushing against him...... I think I was a little too…ohgodohgodohSANDPAPER... Peter’s voice screamed in his head but the only sound he made was a low pain filled groan as the head of Mike’s cock pushed past the tight barrier.

Feeling Peter suddenly tense and hearing the groan, Mike paused. He glanced up to see that Peter’s eyes were tightly scrunched shut and he watched a single tear appear at the corner of Peter’s eye and trickle down into his sandy blond hair.

…fuck… “Oh god, I knew this wasn’t a good idea.” Mike said as he began to withdraw, he was surprised when he felt Peter’s hands tightly grasping the backs of his thighs.

“No, Michael don’t please...just give me a minute.” Peter’s voice was strong and clear although his eyes were still closed.

“Ya sure?”

Peter opened his eyes then and gave Mike a small smile. “Yeah.”

As soon as the painful burning feeling began to ease, Peter gave Mike a nod and lightly brushed his thumbs along Mike’s thighs as a signal for him to continue.

Mike began slowly pushing in again, withdrawing a little then thrusting in a little further, still keeping a close watch on Peter’s face, stopping if Peter showed even the smallest amount of pain. Then when he was fully inserted he paused, giving Peter a moment to become accustomed to the intrusion. Mike closed his eyes and groaned at the gloriously combined feelings of being fully sheathed inside Peter and the almost overwhelming tightness.

Despite the still present but quickly fading feeling of discomfort, Peter looked at Mike and began to chuckle, he’d never seen such a look of sheer intense pleasure on the Texan’s face before.

Feeling Peter’s body shake, Mike opened his eyes to find Peter grinning up at him. Mike leaned forward and placed a light kiss on Peter’s lips, feeling a hand gently caressing his cheek as he did.

“You are really something, ya know that Peter?” Mike said quietly.

Peter, still grinning replied. “Feel good, Michael?”

“Oh shit yeah, fuck you’re so tight.” Mike said as he began to gently rock against Peter. He sat back up and grasped Peter by his hips, pulling almost all the way out then back in again in the same slow easy pace.

Peter closed his eyes enjoying the incredible feeling of Mike’s cock filling him as his body was gently rocked back and forth on the bed. The pain was gone now, replaced by an increasingly pleasant feeling. He moaned again as Mike’s rhythm slowly began to pick up, then suddenly Mike shifted and hit something inside him that until now he hadn’t known existed. A bolt of pure white hot pleasure washed over him, so intense that it caused his back to arch off the bed.

Mike watched in amazement as Peter’s eyes rolled back in his head.

“Nnugh, god Michael, do that again.”

Mike thrust in again, aiming for that same spot and this time got the shock of his life.

“Oh fuck yeah that’s it, fuck me, fuck me hard Michael.”

Mike pulled Peter’s legs up to his shoulders wrapping one arm around a tanned hair covered thigh and began pumping in hard rapid thrusts, the sound of flesh hitting flesh loud in the room.

Peter was soon writhing under Mike’s body as Mike’s cock relentlessly brushed Peter’s pleasure button again and again.

Seeing Peter in the throes of passion and feeling his body bucking and twisting under him, Mike knew he couldn’t hold out much longer. He grasped Peter’s hard as steel cock and began tugging in rhythm with his pounding hips as another spasm wracked the blonds’ body.

“Nnugh…fuck Peter, god ya feel so good…so fuckin tight.” Mike panted between thrusts.

The combined feeling of Mike’s hand roughly stroking his cock and the hard pounding of the Texan’s hips against him sent Peter rolling over the edge and he let out a loud yell as his seed spilled out onto his stomach at the same time Mike gave one last hard thrust and a series of loud grunts signaling that he too had tumbled into the abyss.

Feeling weak as a new born kitten, Mike crawled up to lay next to Peter as both lay gasping for breath. Finally after gaining some strength back in his trembling body Mike rolled onto his side, gathering Peter up in a close, protective embrace.

“Ya ok, babe?”

Mike felt Peter’s head nod against his chest. “I’m fine.”

Mike gently grasped Peter under his chin, tilting his head up so he could see the blond's dark honey colored eyes. His eyes asked a silent question while his heart leapt at the soft, loving look in the expressive eyes gazing back at him.

“Yes Michael, I’m sure.” Peter softly smiled.