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"For Pete’s Sake"

Title: For Pete’s Sake
Author: Moondreams
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Mike/Peter
Genre: Slash
Warnings: Language, sexuality and yep, you guessed it, angst!
Disclaimer: I don’t own The Monkees and make no claim that this ever really happened. It is purely the result of an overactive imagination.
Summary: Peter’s been avoiding Mike and now Mike wants answers.
Author’s Note: Here we are again! OK, this is seriously the last fic before the heavy stuff. I was part way through this one and thought “Well, maybe just one more...” but no, it has to happen sooner or later! Hope this one’s come out OK, I had to re-write it a couple of times. It’s really quite hard to write, knowing where it’s all leading to. It’s also a lot more physical than I had anticipated so hope it’s not overkill, I just wanted to explore their physical relationship a bit more (it is important in future parts, I promise!)
 

Mike was watching him again. Micky had already told him several times that it was looking a bit suspicious but he couldn’t help it. He was worried. Peter had been avoiding him, he denied it but Michael knew it to be true. Anytime he invited him over or suggested going out or having a jam session, Peter would be ‘busy’. This had been going on for close to a month now, to begin with Mike figured Peter just needed some space and was more than happy to give that to him but now it was beginning to frustrate him. He often asked Peter what was happening but was just greeted with a bright smile and a polite brush-off. It was getting to the point where Mike was causing scenes, so desperate he was to find out what was wrong. But if he were honest with himself, he knew full well what it was. It went back to the month before when they were all in the studio...

~*~

They all sat in a row, warming up to lay down some vocals on The Door Into Summer. It was the first time they’d been in the studio for a while now and it was taking longer than expected to get into the rhythm. Mike was surprisingly quiet, seemingly in his own little world. Peter was watching him carefully, trying to figure out what was on his mind but he knew by now that if Mike Nesmith didn’t want you to know something, you weren’t going to find out.

As they entered the second hour, Peter offered to grab some coffees. “Oh, let me help ya.” Mike offered, following Peter out. Micky had to stifle a laugh at his lack of subtlety but no-one else thought anything of it. They both stood silently by the coffee machine for a bit.

“Pete...” Mike began, an awkwardness to his voice.

“You free tonight?” Peter asked out of the blue.

“What?”

“Tonight. Are you free? I got a new song, I’d like you to hear it. I think it’s missing something you might be able to help with.”

“Uh, I’m not sure. Probably. I’ll have to...check.” More silence. “Peter...”

“It’s nice all being in here together again, feels like we don’t play together much anymore.” Peter wasn’t sure why he was doing it but he felt like there was something very bad to be said after his name and the only way he could avoid it was to keep interrupting Mike. Thankfully, he didn’t need to do it again as Mike gave up, he didn’t really know what to say anyway.

As they arrived back at the room, Micky raised his eyebrows at Peter in question but was just given a shrug of the shoulders in return as Peter took his place next to Davy again. Now they were both distracted, resulting in a fairly mediocre vocal performance. Proceedings were suddenly brought to a halt when there was a tapping at the studio window.

“’Ere Mike, the missus.” Davy said. Sure enough, there was Phyllis, smiling brightly as usual. Micky, who was closest to the door, leant back in his chair to open it for her. She bustled over to Mike, kissing him on the cheek and taking position behind his chair, hands on his shoulders.

“Hi guys. Ja tell ‘em yet?”

“You kiddin’? This guy never tells us nuthin’!” Micky said, in jest.

“Cool it, Mick.” Mike said, surprisingly stern but it went unnoticed by Phyllis.

“Oh. Well, we’re expecting another baby!” Mike was aware of the movement towards Phyllis as Micky and Davy embraced her and spoke congratulatory remarks but all he really absorbed was the very brief look of someone’s world crashing around their ears which was quickly replaced with an over enthusiastic smile.

“Congratulations! Wow, that’s great. Really great...” Peter said, getting up to give Phyllis an awkward hug. “Hey, y’know, this sessions overrun and I really gotta get goin’. Can we do this later, Chip? Tomorrow?” He asked, hurriedly.

“Sure, I think we might give it a rest for a bit though. I’ll let ya know.” Peter gave the thumbs up, said a brief farewell to his band-mates and practically fled out the door.

“Wait! Hey, hold up, man!” Mike fumbled out of the door, stopping Peter half way down the corridor. He turned around but didn’t make eye contact. Mike feared there were tears threatening to spill over those hazel eyes. “We still up for tonight?”

“Oh, y’know. I forgot about – I’m meeting up with Karen. Maybe tomorrow.” And he left without waiting for a reply. That was the first, the first of a string of blow offs and Mike had an awful sense that something had just ended. That something, he feared, was Peter and he had no idea how to get him back.

He tried being mad at him for a while for making him feel guilty for getting his own wife pregnant but that was no good. Peter wasn’t trying to make him feel guilty, he felt that on his own and it was driving him crazy. He also couldn’t be mad at him for his reaction because he would have reacted the same, probably worse. Mike had suspected it might upset Peter which is why he tried to tell him first but it made him sick to his stomach to see how much hurt he’d caused him. It felt like a betrayal. He’d betrayed his lover by sleeping with his own wife...the absurdity of it would have made him laugh were it not so damned frustrating.

And now Peter was behaving like they’d never happened, Mike felt like he was in some sort of Twilight Zone. But he would only stand for it for so long...

~*~

It was just the three of them and Chip today, with Davy being in England. They were trying to capture a vocal for Riu Chiu but everyone was in an odd mood. They all seemed to be on their own little planet, all wanting to do their own thing. But there was something different about Mike, or to be more accurate, something similar about Mike. He was taking charge of the session, telling people what to do and as much as it bothered people, there was a comfortable sense of familiarity there.

“Naw, look this all sounds wrong. We got the tempo wrong, man. We’re not gettin’ the harmonies.”

“Well, why don’t you try the harmony part with Peter instead of Chip-“ Micky suggested but was cut off a little too abruptly by Peter.

“No. Just keep it as it is, I’ll just come in a little later.” That did it. While he kept his composure perfectly, Mike’s brain positively exploded, he couldn’t take it anymore. We are having this out tonight.

As he grabbed his jacket, he saw Peter and Micky having a discussion, although it looked like Micky was doing all the talking. Mike approached the curly-haired man once Peter had departed, keeping his eyes on the direction he’d left while talking to Micky.

“What was all that about?” He asked, injecting a tinge of distain to his voice. But his whole demeanour changed unwillingly when Micky glared back at him with hurt eyes.

“Why don’t you tell me? What’s happened, Mike?”

“Why, what did he tell you?” This time there was no distain, just worry. He hoped Micky had the answer to the question that had been plaguing him.

“Nothing. That’s just it. You guys tell me pretty much everything, and I stress everything, then all of a sudden you clam up on me. Both of ya. Is it over?” Mike flinched slightly. That was the one question he’d been too scared to ponder. But it was certainly looking that way.

“I don’t know...”

“Is it Phyllis?”

“I think it’s more the whole pregnancy thing, that’s when it started...but there’s nothin’ I can do about that! Or would do about that. But – I don’t...ugh!-“ He threw his hands up in the air, failing to find the words to finish his thought. Micky couldn’t even begin to comprehend how Mike must have felt but he knew he had to sort things out with Peter, no matter what the result, or it would tear him apart.

“You need to talk to him. I think there’s more to it than that.”

“But he won’t talk to me! He can barely bring himself to work with me!” Mike’s voice cracked as he began to lose his composure, the likelihood of their demise becoming more of a reality in his mind.

“Look, Karen and Justin will be out of the house tonight, I heard him tellin’ Chip. You march your ass down there and sort it out. You can’t keep goin’ on like this, neither of ya. Peter’s keepin’ enough of his feelings under wraps, he needs to let some out, it’s against his nature.” That just made Mike feel worse. It was against his nature, Peter was generally a very open person and he was having to bottle so much up for Mike’s sake and he was ashamed to say he hadn’t really thought of it. It had to have been eating him alive and Micky was right, this could be the final straw. A determined look overcame the one of worry.

“You’re right. It’s not gonna go down like this, not if I can help it. You sure he’s not goin’ out?”

“Man, that’s what I heard. Worth a shot, innit?” Mike nodded slowly, slapping Micky genially on the shoulder.

“I seriously don’t know why you put up with us, Mick. But I sure do ‘preciate it.” Micky smiled back, returning the gesture.

~*~

Mike left for Peter’s just as it started getting dark. He didn’t lie about where he was going, he rarely did. Nor did he lie about why, he just left out some of the details. Phyllis knew he was having trouble with Peter and encouraged him to resolve it if he could.

On the short trip down, his thoughts were in overdrive. I am not gonna leave that damn house until I get a true reason as to why he’s avoiding me. Don’t sit down, don’t get comfortable, look through him, not at him...that outta break him. But after a few more minutes, he began to over think it. But what if it isn’t the pregnancy? What if he just realised he was wrong, we were wrong, that he’s found another girl? He’s probably ignoring me cos he don’t wanna hurt my feelings, he is still Peter after all. Shit.

By the time he reached Peter’s road, he felt sick. He’d already made up his mind about how the conversation was gonna go and he contemplated turning back and saving himself the heartache. He pulled up in front of Peter’s house on the opposite side of the street and just sat there, staring intermittently at the door.

“Nope, forget it.” He turned the engine back on again to get the hell out of there but the car responded with a hideous churning noise. The mini he’d brought back with him from England was a beautiful car but he was having a never ending battle with the stick shift. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught some movement.

Peter had heard the noise and moved the curtain aside to better assess the situation. As soon as he spotted the chocolate mini and made out a tall, lanky figure crammed inside he flung the curtain back into place, dove for the light and plunged himself into darkness. But it was too little, too late.

Mike had seen Peter, seen the look of startled horror on his face and then saw the lights go out. He’s not ignoring me, he’s hiding from me! The brief feeling of hurt was quickly replaced with sheer frustration. What the fuck? This is something else, it has to be!

Something was building in Mike’s stomach. An old, familiar feeling. A Nesmith rage. He’d had it with the sneaking around, what was he hiding? Mike clambered out of the car, storming over to the door, pounding on it.

“Peter, open the door! I know you’re in there goddamn it!” He continued to bash mercilessly on the door, almost hitting Peter in the face when he opened it.

“Mike – I was just heading out –“

“Cut the crap.” Mike said, pushing past Peter to gain entrance. He headed for the living room, switching on the light and proceeded to survey the room. Nothing looked out of the ordinary, it looked like Peter had just been playing solo judging by the abandoned guitar and notebook. This just confused Mike further, adding to his frustration. He turned to face Peter who was keeping his distance, a look of mild panic on his face.

“What is going on?” He asked in a low, stern voice.

“I don’t know what you – ahhh!” Before Peter could finish, Mike had closed the space between them, grabbing him roughly by the shoulders.

“Stop lying to me!” Mike couldn’t help but relax his grip a little when he sensed it was distressing Peter. This wasn’t going quite how he’d liked but he still wasn’t leaving without an answer. “Why do you hate being around me so much? What have I done?!”

Peter’s eyes widened in horror and disbelief. He’d worked it all out in his head, mulled it over again and again before coming to a decision. But now here was Mike, seemingly clueless. Could it be he’d misinterpreted? He hoped to every god imaginable that he had.

“Michael, I – I just thought it was easier this way. I thought I’d save you the trouble of telling me...”

“Telling you what!?” Mike’s anger had now dissolved into pure confusion.

“At the coffee machine. About the baby. You were gonna tell me to back off, let you be the full time family man-“ Mike was exasperated but Peter cut him dead before he could even form a word. “I get it! I do understand, you know. She needs you. And she can’t have you when you’ve got some selfish hanger-on always making you feel guilty and ruining your life and screwing up your family and wanting to spend time with you because I don’t know how long we can keep this up and I hate it, I hate the not knowing, wondering if it’s all gonna fall apart suddenly, if you’ll realise what we’re actually doing and I just love you so much...” Peter had totally lost control of his mouth and everything he had been thinking the last month just came pouring out. By the end he was practically shaking, so distraught he couldn’t even form tears.

Mike was hit by a wave of emotion: relief, anxiety, grief, love, compassion, heartbreak...he did the only thing that came to mind. Using the hands that were still situated at Peter’s shoulders, he pulled the quivering figure into him, wrapping his arms tightly around him, laying his head on Peter’s.

Peter had been surprised to find Mike was the snuggling type but he certainly wasn’t one for full on hugs. Mike’s reaction therefore just made Peter break down completely, sobbing uncontrollably into Mike’s shoulder. Mike stroked his hair and made soothing noises, totally lost for something to say.

“I wasn’t gonna tell you to leave. I would never. I just wanted to tell ya separately, so we could talk it out if you wanted.” Peter sniffed hard, settling slightly.

“But she still needs you...”

“What about you, huh?” Mike pulled Peter out of the embrace, staring intensely into those swollen eyes. “Why do you think your needs aren’t important? You deserve so much more than I can give you-“ Peter put his fingers over Mike’s lips, sensing he was about to crumble too but Mike gently brushed them away, cupping Peter’s face in his hands.

“You are not ruining my life, that’s the craziest damn thing I ever heard.” He kissed Peter’s cheek softly, removing a stray tear at the same time. “And I don’t want you to hide from me, not ever.” He kissed the other cheek, lingering a while longer noticing how Peter let out a long sigh. When he pulled back this time, he saw a hazy quality to Peter’s eyes. “And you aren’t a selfish hanger-on. I’m the selfish one, I’ve taken you for granted. I don’t wanna lose you man...Cos I love you, Peter.”

There, he’d said it. Finally, to Peter’s face he’s said how he truly felt. They practically fell into each other as their lips locked, desperately trying to cling together, to wash away the fears of being apart.

“I don’t want to push you away, just tell me what you need-“ Mike mumbled into Peter’s mouth but he was silenced with a more forceful kiss. Peter had had enough of talking about it, this was what he needed, he just wanted to be loved again, to experience what he’d given up for the last month and he’d feared forever.

The kiss gradually became more mutually involved as Mike cupped the back of Peter’s head, pulling him closer. Peter moaned into his mouth, diving his tongue in and exploring that glorious mouth. Mike’s hands glided down Peter’s back sending a shiver up his spine before they clasped his ass, affectionately kneading the cheeks through his pants. Peter’s cock twitched and his breath hitched in his throat at the touch, hips automatically thrusting forward to grind into Mike’s crotch feeling his growing erection.

They both broke the kiss to stare at each other. Peter’s eyes full of lust, a smile playing on his lips. He could sense Mike was in a playful mood and that never failed to turn him on. Mike looked a lot more sober, a determined look on his face. He’d hurt Peter and now he was going to make it up to him.

They crashed their lips together again with renewed vigour, both thinking they knew where they were headed. They grappled with each other’s pants, Mike finding it almost impossible to get into Peter’s ridiculously tight pants. Peter was about to remove Mike’s when Mike grabbed both his wrists. He paused in shock but his mouth literally fell open as Mike grabbed Peter’s pants by the belt loops, slowly pulling them down as he dropped to his knees. This cannot be happeni- CHRIST! Mike mouthed the rigid cock through his underwear which he now also removed while keeping his intense gaze locked on Peter. The blond had to look away as he blindly tried to anchor himself on Mike’s shoulders, the divine sight of Mike’s full lips so close to his pulsating cock threatening to undo him.

“UNGH! FUCK!” Peter practically doubled over as Mike’s mouth enveloped him. A hand strayed from the shoulder to knit into the ebony hair as Peter began to rock gently against the relentless mouth. Mike very rarely gave head, that was most certainly Peter’s area of expertise. But it was the rarity of it that made it all so phenomenal, Peter realised that Mike obviously felt a lot worse than he’d originally assumed. He had a sudden urge to just kiss him again, let him know everything was alright but he was promptly reminded that that mouth was busy as he felt Mike take him right down to the root.

Peter cried out, unable to form any comprehensible words. Mike hollowed his cheeks, rolling his tongue over the head and down the shaft as his hands stroked the lightly tanned thighs either side of him. Mike had been careful to watch Peter give him blow jobs so he could take note. Judging by Peter’s ragged moans and increasingly erratic movements, he’s learnt a thing or two since the last time.

“Fuck, Mike...I’m gonna fuckin’ come...” As if Mike’s mouth wasn’t enough, Mike gave Peter that extra push, slyly sliding his hand round to Peter’s ass and sliding a finger in, only ever so slightly brushing Peter’s prostate. It was more than enough. Peter swore he almost blacked out from the force of the orgasm that tore through him as Mike lapped up his release.

As Peter began to still, Mike continued to suck the softening cock, now at its most sensitive. The sensations made Peter’s legs finally give way and he crumpled on the floor.

“Shit...That...was incredible.” Peter said still trying to catch his breath, a satisfied grin lingering on his face. Mike leant on his side, admiring the flushed man.

“Oh, we’re not done yet...” Peter looked down at the prominent bulge attempting to break free from Mike’s zipper.

“Mmm, so I see.” He said teasingly, slipping his hand in, groping the aching cock. Mike’s eyes rolled back as he moaned. Peter leant in for that delayed kiss, more sensual than passionate and could taste himself on Mike’s lips. To his surprise, that thought made his cock stir as he already started to get hard again.

“C’mon.” Mike said as he reluctantly broke away from the kiss, standing and holding out a hand for Peter. They got to the bedroom and immediately got to removing the remaining garments they wore. Peter undid Mike’s shirt, running his hands over his chest and up to his shoulders, pushing it off as he sucked on Mike’s nipples. Mike’s eyes fluttered as he rapidly removed Peter’s shirt, desperate to feel his warm, taut skin against his own.

“Oh, you’re in for it now, boy.” Mike said, his accent thick, voice low. That’s what you think, Peter thought as he finally removed Mike’s pants. He sat down on the bed taking in the gorgeous sight before him.

“Do your worst.” He said, challengingly. Obviously, such a challenge could not go unmet and Mike practically pounced on the waiting blond in his eagerness, covering him with kisses and light nibbles. Peter flailed for the cabinet drawer, locating the lube he’d stashed there. He poured a liberal amount onto his hand which he then wrapped around Mike’s throbbing cock, coating it fully.

“Christ, Peter- God...” The dual feelings of the cool substance coupled with Peter’s squeezing motions were almost too much. “You better cool it or this show will be over damn quick.” But Peter couldn’t help himself and squeezed again, eliciting a sharp gasp. So he wants to play, huh? Mike snatched the lube, covering two fingers and shoved them right into Peter’s entrance.

“AHHH! Shit!” Peter arched from the sudden intrusion but it sure as hell made him release his grip. Mike kissed him affectionately as he continued to stretch him out. He shifted forward, positioning his already leaking cock at his entrance, wrapping Peter’s legs around his waist.

“Ready for me?”

Peter’s face suddenly became very serious but tender. “I never thought I’d have this, you, again. I think I’m more than ready.” The words set Mike aflame and he thrust in so hard, as if he were trying to physically drive away any such thoughts out of Peter’s system. He set a steady rhythm, delighting in the moans issuing from Peter’s slightly parted lips. But after a while, Peter’s voice disrupted his pace.

“Michael?”

“What, babe?”

“You really care about my needs?” Mike frowned, unsure where he was going with this.

“I do. I really do.” He leaned in for another kiss to back up his statement.

“Trust me?” Peter mumbled into his mouth. Mike swallowed hard, a knot of anticipation forming in his stomach. He had barely finished the nod when Peter’s eyes flashed as he nimbly changed their positions.

Peter now looked down at Mike with a predatory gaze that made Mike want to fuck him senseless. But that’s not the plan, is it? As if answering his question, Peter swooped in for a deep kiss, nipping lightly at his bottom lip with a smirk. As they made eye contact, Peter suddenly impaled himself on Mike’s cock.

They both cried out with a string of curse words. Peter had clenched, making the head and tightness almost overwhelming for Mike. It hurt like hell but seeing Mike’s face contort in absolute pleasure made it worthwhile. He began riding him for all he was worth, pinning Mike’s arms either side of his head with impressive strength. He kissed him with bruising force, Mike’s head practically swimming in ecstasy.

“Fuck, Peter. It’s amaz-ah! You’re amazing...” He managed to choke out as Peter licked long trails down his chest. This was what Peter needed. He loved being fucked and made love to by Mike but sometimes he just wished he could take control and show Mike how good it could be if he took a back seat and passed the reins over. He still hadn’t made love to Mike but hoped it was on the horizon, but he would wait until Mike was ready. For now, he was more than happy to give Mike what he wanted by finding some sort of middle ground.

Mike was now arching his back off the bed, meeting each thrust and angling himself to hit Peter’s prostate. “Nghh, that’s it Michael. That’s it, gonna come...” Peter released one of Mike’s hands so he could stroke himself but before he managed to make contact, Mike used is free hand to snatch it back, overpowering him and holding his hands to Mike’s chest. Peter whimpered in earnest, his cock aching to be touched. “Michael, please. Touch me. I need...”

“Not yet, babe.” He said quietly, trying to blow the damp wave of hair out of his eyes. Peter knew that Mike couldn’t help trying to be dominant, he just wished he wasn’t so damned good at it. He couldn’t help but smile, he loved it when Mike didn’t play by the rules.

He started clawing at Mike’s chest, making him hiss. He leaned in to whisper in Mike’s ear, his voice low and purring. “Come in me, Michael. Come in my ass.” He clenched one last time around Mike’s cock and that was it.

“PETER, Jesus! Oh god, yeah!” He shook wildly, spurting deep inside of Peter. Somehow, he remembered Peter’s dire need for release and grasped the pulsating cock, jerking it rapidly in his hand, making them come together.

The sound of their combined orgasm reverberated through the entire house. As their muscles loosened, Peter slid himself off of Mike’s cock and curled up beside him, wiping off as much of the sticky fluids that covered him as possible.

“Wow.”

“Yeah.” Mike replied, sounding almost in shock. They sat in awed silence for a little longer. “Hey, what happened about that song you mentioned? Said I might be able to help.”

“Hm? Oh! Yeah, still not happy with it. I’ll play it for ya later, just...let me get the feeling back in my fingers and legs first.” Mike smiled, wrapping an arm around Peter’s shoulder letting him perch his head on his chest.

“Thank you.” Peter muttered.

“For what?”

“For coming back. For giving me something to hold on to. For the most mind-blowing blowjob ever...” Mike couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“Anytime.” He kissed Peter on the head as he slipped into sleep.

But Mike stayed awake, his mind unable to shut down no matter how hard he tried. He knew that what had just happened was undoubtedly the best sex he’d ever had and he also knew that if he would just let go for once, that it would be even better, Peter would make sure of that. The anticipation was building in his stomach but he was all too aware that hiding behind that anticipation was an unwelcome feeling of intense fear...